Monday, June 22, 2009


Dear Esophagus,

I am writing this letter to you to apologize for all the burning damage I am doing to you, by way of heartburn. I know that you are upset that I am not taking prilosec or some stronger medicine, but I have been forced under duress (with claims I may hurt my unborn child) to stick to tums (I know, what a joke, right?) and pepcid ac (a little better). I am praying that when Baby H. arrives, I will no longer beat you up. In fact, I have been assured by my doctor that this is the case. If it does not alleviate any of your damage, I promise to work to find a better solution. If it makes you feel any better, I am in pain from sun-up to sun-down and have taken to sleeping in an upright position (which, of course, means I will need to write an apology letter to my neck in a few weeks).

Please accept this heartfelt apology,
Mrs. Howard


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