Tuesday, March 30, 2010

What NOT to Say to Someone Who's Been Laid Off

A cute video above...

So, many of you know that once again I was laid off. It stinks. It's stressful (although...so much LESS stressful than being 7 months pregnant and not having a job). It certainly makes doing things like open house and report cards a little frustrating (especially when those things are done on our "own" time). So, I thought I'd put together a little "What Not to Say to Me" post. Let me preface this by saying that I know you are trying to be helpful. I think this is one of those things that people don't know what to say or how to help. So, allow me...

(1) "But it's not for SURE, right?"
My response: Yes it is. At this moment in time it IS for sure. Could that change tomorrow? Sure. Could it change in 5 minutes. Sure. But it IS for sure, right now, that I have no job next year.

(2) "Well, you'll probably get hired back."
My response: maybe. I might be able to pay my mortgage next year. I might be able to contribute food next year for my table. Let me call up Bank of America right now and let them know that I'll PROBABLY have a job next year, thus PROBABLY be able to send them a check. I'll let my daycare provider know that I'll probably be able to pay her next year. More than likely. K, I'm being sarcastic...but... You try living with this uncertainty. You try planning for a constant maybe. You try spending hours trying to figure out how you could make it all work.

(3) "This happens to teachers every year right?"
My response: No. This is my fourth year in the district. I was not laid off my first two years. Teachers in our district hadn't been laid off for maybe 10 years before that. So, no. This does not happen every year.

(4) "Maybe you should be an attorney!"
My response: Dad, I chose to be a teacher.

(5) "How perfect! Now you can be a Stay at Home Mom!"
My response: Perhaps. But if we truly could have afforded that to begin with, that's what we would have done. And perfect would be me CHOOSING that path...not being forced out before my time.

There are soo many of you who have been laid off in this horrible economy. I have friends and family who have been unemployed for over a year and many of my teacher friends still don't have jobs from last year. I know that here in Sacramento we see the effects of the layoffs and furloughs for the state workers. This year in California 22, 000 of us recieved those dreaded pink slips. And I'm one of the lucky ones. I was hired back last year and am high on the list for mine to be rescided.

What you can say:
(1) How can I help?
My response: stand up for education. Wear pink on Friday's. Volunteer in your child's classroom. Class sizes are going up again and it is going to be overwhelming to those of us who DO get hired back.

(2) I love you.
My reponse: thank you! I love you too!

(3) I'm going to think good thoughts for you.
My reponse: I try to keep my friends who don't have jobs in my thoughts and prayers. This, too, shall pass. We'll all survive. I know that even people who HAVE jobs are feeling it too with furloughs, pay freezes, and reduced hours. We're all in this together.

I hope this doesn't come across too whiny. That, certainly, is not my intention.


lynda said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I love you. How can I help? I will keep good thoughts, and you can lean on me.

Amy Walton said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

How can I help?
I love you.
I'm going to think good thoughts for you.
@#^% That!! @*$& Them! ;)

LittleDreamer said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I see a trend here..I love you too. :-) One suggestion though, if you haven't already seen Up in the Air, don't. Hits a little close to home when one can personally identify with unemployment. Praying for you.

Courtney said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

How can we help. we think you are wonderful. We will keep positive thoughts for you.

Adam said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I like #4 on the first part of the list best, and I send a #2 from the second part your way.

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