Saturday, September 18, 2010

After the Ultrasound

When we got home, Mr. Howard went in the bedroom to take a nap (he had been up since 2:30am). I texted a few people that the baby was healthy and that we were home from the appointment.

At about 4:30 I got a missed phone call from Kaiser. As soon as I saw the number, I went into the bedroom to wake up Mr. Howard to tell him that something was wrong. Kaiser was calling. On their message, the woman, Karen, told me that it wasn't an emergency but that I needed to call her back right away. I called her seconds later.

The next part of this conversation is a blur. I can't remember how much of this actually happened and how much I just remember happening. I was thinking a lot of thoughts and honestly, some of my thoughts are jumbled with what she said.

At the beginning, Karen asked me if my husband was home. I said yes. She asked if he would like to come sit with me. I don't remember what I said to her, but I sat down on my kitchen floor. She went on. "Your baby has cysts in the kidneys...this is caused by renal failure...you have very little fluid...have you seen any fluid leaking out of you? Babies need amniotic fluid to eat (to give their digestive systems practice), they "breath" it, it helps their organs grow)...your baby does not have enough amniotic fluid to survive...you need to have an appointment with a high risk OB and a geneticist to do a more high powered ultrasound and to go over your options...I would like you to see a doctor tomorrow to measure your fluid...are you okay? Do you need time before I go on?...Is there any history of kidney disease in your family? Do you have anyone in your family with birth defects? Stillborns? You're baby will not make it if he/she is in renal failure. Can I talk to your husband? I'd like to give him all the same information so that you don't have to repeat it..." and then I got off the phone. I sobbed hysterically, so loudly that I actually left the room so that I wouldn't interupt Mr. Howard's conversation with Karen.

We went to bed thinking the worst, praying we would be able to get to see a geneticist some time before our scheduled appointment on Tuesday, but also hoping that the cysts were only in one kidney and that the baby could still function with the other kidney.

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