Thursday, July 21, 2011

Allow Me to Help You...

Okay, so I am not going to be bitter in this post...I am not going to be bitter...I am not going to be bitter...

{Do you believe me?}

Here are some things you should never say to a mom of multiples because you do not know what she is going through.
  • "My condolensces" (Yep! Some guy thought it would be HILLARIOUS to say that!)
  • "Uh-oh...Goodbye Life!" (or some other version of this phrase)
  • "You're in for it!"
  • "Your life is over!"
  • "Oh my gosh! Two! You're in trouble!"
We are often stopped by loving people who say kind things, but we are also stopped daily by people who say hurtful things. It's so inappropriate. I have decided that the next person who says something soo inappropriate is going to get a response like, "It's a lot easier than holding your beautiful son in your arms and then sending him off to the morgue to be cremated!" And that, folks, is what I mean when I say that you never know what people are going through.

Do you ever notice that people want to tell you how hard it's going to be? We have a friend who is always saying to us, "Oh Just Wait!..." or "I'll talk to you in a year and we'll see..." It's so frustrating. I think it's a way for people to relate and maybe commiserate, but given our current situation, we think every breath, every tantrum, every tough moment is a gift. And we need people lifting us up - even when we need to vent and talk about how hard the current stage is. We don't need people telling us how our life is over.

Do you also ever notice that it's always older people who say the kindest things? Our pediatrician's office is across from a retirement community and all the guides and volunteers are from there. It's also where all the folks come to get their prescriptions. Every single time we go there, we get stopped by roughly 4-5 elderly men and women who say the absolute kindest things. They tell us how lucky we we should savor the moments...they ask the babies' names...they tell us that we have the perfect family... What does that tell you? What is important in life? When you are nearing the end of your journey on earth, what is it you value?

{Okay, rant over}


QueenVII said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I cannot imagine anyone saying anything negative about having 3 beautiful children! Reality? Yes, it would be a handful, but that is a WHOLE lotta love right there to take and take care of! xoxo

Courtney said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I hate the "my you have your hands full" bear in mind most people see Connor and Megan and assume or they ask if they are twins. Yes, my hands are full....they are full of beautiful kids who can be big punks! haha. It is hard for me personally right now to appreciate a lot of things as my sadness tends to supersede that, but I get so thankful for my amazing mess (read: hands full) of kids when they do or say something so off the wall and hilarious, it snaps me out and reminds me how lucky I am, no matter what.

Samantha said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I loved this post. I can totally relate. It does seem like older people are so much more positive. I notice they are always saying the sweetest things like "Twins? What a blessing!!" It's also really nice when other parents of twins come up and say nice things.

The Vaught's said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I agree! I had a friend who just lost one of her twins and I keep looking at mine and thinking how blessed I am! Remember He only selected a few of us to be in this club:) He knew we could do it!

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