Monday, October 31, 2011

Just sad.

This isn't going to make sense to most people, but today was a hard day. I'm feeling very frustrated with teaching and am wondering if this is the right path for me. (Crazy, considering that just a few months ago I was saying that I loved being a working mom). I am feeling like perhaps I need to consider if this is really the right path for me. I'm not doing something right if I'm coming home every day feeling like I'm not making a difference...feeling like I need to say to people "teachers are not the enemy." And it isn't just one student I'm struggling with...or one parent...or one colleague. It's the culture. It's society. It's this mentality that teachers need to do more...that teachers are to blame...that teachers should sacrifice their family in order to be better teachers. And I don't want to get political or take a stance. I just want to say that today, today I am struggling.

I read the following over the weekend and it struck a chord (from "Sad. That is what I am feeling right now. I can give you a good number of reasons why I am sad, but that is not the intention of my blog post. I can also add a whole bunch of other emotions such as frustration, disappointment, anger and exhaustion into sad, but for now, I will umbrella them all under sad…"

FYI, I have disabled comments today because today is just about documenting this for me and for my family. I know my friends are wonderful and encouraging and will tell me all the reasons I shouldn't feel that way; but, I am just feeling sad.

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