Saturday, January 21, 2012

I'm going to get deep here for a moment

We finally watched I Don't Know How She Does It and seriously if you take out the out-of-town travel, subtract out the boss who is in love with her, and add in an extra baby, two dogs, and pre-school - that is so our lives right now. I love the part about the list because HONESTLY it's sooo how it works in my brain.
I also love the scene where Sarah Jessica's character is talking to her mother-in-law who says, "If you weren't working, don't you think your two-year-old might be talking by now!?" To me, it speaks perfectly to the double standard we still have for working dads and working moms.

 It also, deep down in a place where I never tell any of my friends this because they would tell me I'm crazy, perfectly represents those thoughts in my head. Anytime something goes wrong or I feel inferior by an amazing stay-at-home mama, or I worry about a developmental milestone, I go there. I think about how me working might contribute to this huge problem in 10 years. Ten years from now, Connor will be saying to his 6th grade teacher, "Yeah. My mom was working and never had time to read to me. That's why I'm failing school." Flash forward a few years past that and it'll be "My mom was working...and so I never graduated high school." And finally to his partner, "Yeah. My mom worked. I never really knew love and I don't know that I ever want to get married."

I am thankful I have those thoughts, no matter how crazy, because it keeps me doing my best. Oprah would always say, "When you know better, you do better." And I want to know better. I know some friends have basically told me that I'm crazy thinking so much about Aiden and Isabella's first birthday and whether or not I should give them two invitations or one. And that's just it. I don't want to be perfect. I know I can't. I know that there will be something I do wrong and something some day my kids will be telling their spouses that their mom did and how it has majorly impacted them in some way. That's the reality. I just want to make sure that as a mom, and a WORKING one at that (so one who is not there for every milestone, every fall, every hug, and every celebration), that I do the best job that I can do...that I consciously consider the outcome of as many decisions as I can...and that I do my best to do right by my kids. Because, at the end of the day, being a mom is my most important, and cherished, responsibility.

Because some day, these precious cuties will be more than just babies in photographs. They will be grown ups, out in the world. They will be driving amongst you; they will be working amongst you; and even more importantly, some day they will be raising more children of their own.

 If I fail as a mom, I have failed the world.

 And so, I do the best I can to make the best decisions. And that's what's so amazing about our world. Because whether or not I work, or stay home, or work from home, all of us moms are doing the same important work - and we're all, hopefully, doing the best we can.

Last night, I was listening to Sara Haze's music and these lyrics struck a chord:
"I don't want to be her. I just want to be little old me... I feel lovely just the way that I am... I need that to be enough... Because it's enough for me... Am I supposed to be give up everything that I am?... I am lovely just the way that I am."

4 comments:

Life in Dawleywood said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I can so relate to this post. I work 4 days a week but thankfully work for a family owned company that doesn't mind when I take extra days off or have to call in sick because my baby is sick. I always tell people I'm a stay at home mom and a working mom, and really we are. We work all day, then come home and have the responsibility of teaching and loving our children the way we would have liked to all day. And I think the same thing goes for stay at home moms, they have the same fears and work equally as hard.

AbbyS. said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

amen, amen, amen.
I teach 5th grade and have a 3.5 year old, 4 month old twins and a dog- oh and a husband! :) (We should totally be real life friends) and people ask me (judge me) all the time for working. They are always asking how I get it all done. Well, I JUST DO. It is my job, I love it all and the list is always going in my brain. Love your blog. Thanks for sharing. I will be renting that tonight!:)

Southern Queen of the Crazies said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Super cute kids.

Brandie said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am a teacher, too! This is my 11th year. It is hard juggling everything sometimes, but I love it! Your family is precious!

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