Sunday, March 25, 2012

Mama Melt Down

On Wednesday morning, I woke up and was so worried. I don't know how to explain it, other than to say that I haven't had that feeling more than a handful of times. I am not usually a mama who reads the books and obsesses about stages. Heck, my twins are 9 months old and have basically defied every single "what is normal" stage I could possibly imagine (including the fact that they are 38 weeks old and still fit in 3-6 month clothes). I only say this because it seemed all the more scary that I was concerned. You see, Aiden and Isabella hadn't sat up on their own or crawled. Now, I am all for them going at their own pace and certainly wasn't as ready for Connor to walk as early as he did. But they will be 9 months in a week or so it and it had me worried.

The first thing I did was ask other moms when their babies starting crawling and sitting up on their own. Well, that was a stupid idea. Every single one of them responded that their babies were talking in complete sentences by the time they were six months and had already learned how to tie their own shoes by nine months. Clearly, we were behind. Okay, I'm being slightly dramatic. But still.

So by the time I received the doctor's email back saying that it was concerning, I was about ready to pack up my belongings and stay home full-time with my kids and start a full-time Baby Sit Up Boot Camp. Thankfully my husband talked me down from the ledge. Have I ever mentioned how much we balance each other out? We'd have no food on our table, and all my kids would run around like banshees with no sense of a schedule if I weren't here; but if he weren't here - I would be orchestrating Crawling and Sit-Up Boot Camps, complete with adorable baby onesies (because when is their ever an occasion NOT to have a fun themed onesie?!) from my house - all the while steam-mopping the floor 52 times a day.

I am the type of person who loves change. Heck, I do change for a living. But I'm also the type of person who likes to have a plan. And stress doesn't fit into my plan. There's no time for it. So, when I get stressed (which is often), I don't really have a great way to deal with it...just ask my hair dresser who noticed my bald spot (I'm waiting for a doctor to confirm on March 30th what I already know I have: Alopecia Areata caused by extreme stress).
For me, sometimes, the best way to deal with stress is to just cry. Occasionally, it's good to show the people around you that despite your "I've got everything. I can handle it all" appearance, that you are vulnerable and weak at the same time. And those qualities aren't necessarily bad. So, that's what I did. I cried. I sobbed. I freaked out. And then the next morning I put it all into perspective. And now I can laugh at my silliness and how unbelievably emotional it is to be a mom. To me, Elizabeth Stone said it best, "To have a child is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body." And perhaps that's why the tiniest concern can spark the greatest melt-down in a Mama.

And then, just because God wanted to teach me a lesson about timing and patience, this happened.

And this
**She didn't pull herself up on her own. We helped stand her. But she stood there for a while on her own!**

Thank you, Diana, for always being there for me! I love you!


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Oh, man, we've all been there before!

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