Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Twin Update

It's been a while since I've updated everyone on the twins.

Yes, Aiden is riding Isabella like a horse in the photo below. They both wanted to play with the doggie door.

Last week I had another, "oh my goodness...catch my breath...overwhelmed" sort of feeling. It's been a while since I felt that way. But I'm not sure it will ever get easier to hear your children are behind. Last Tuesday, on my way into work, I got a phone call from Kaiser informing me that they had received the twins' 12 month survey (that we completed at 13 months to adjust for their prematurity). The woman on the other end didn't know that we had already qualified them with ALTA Regional- so she tried to be delicate in how she delivered the news. "Your pediatrician referred you to us because your babies are behind. Very behind..." She continued softly, "some of their scores (based on your responses) indicate they are in the 6 month range..." Of course, nothing she told me was new news. But it still hurt my heart to hear it. It took everything in me not to sob on the phone with her. I know that this news is not the end of the world. Trust me. I've received that kind of news. But it still just overwhelms me to my core. Thoughts of, "Will they catch up? How will we manage all this while working full-time jobs? Are we doing the right thing by having me work full time? Am I a bad mom?" flood to the surface.

I tried to focus and be present. I tried to hear what she said and put the thoughts of self doubt on the background. "We will need to have a pediatric developmental specialist (I think that is what she said) evaluate them...This appointment should take 2-3 hours...From there, we will decide what we need to do." After explaining to her that they are both receiving services from ALTA regional, she explained that we still needed to pursue this...That we should probably pursue every opportunity for help. Something about those last words struck a chord with me and frightened me.

I went to work and carried on, because, well, I don't know how to do any different. We'll manage this just like we do everything else. With humility. And patience. And probably, knowing me, some tears.

And then, based on divine intervention, the babies performed miracles this weekend. Aiden took his first steps and said "up." Isabella signed her first word, "eat." Then later she said her first word, "eat"...and second word, "up!". Both Aiden and Isabella have it written into their IFSP (their goals that we are working on in therapy) that they will say, "up" when they want to be picked up. Of course, they met one of their goals and they haven't even worked with a therapist yet. It was all just because Mr. Howard and I had a shared vision of what we needed to focus on with them. We also had told daycare a few weeks ago two of their goals so that they could work on them with Aiden and Isabella too (saying "up" when they want up and waving "hi" on cue).

Although I'm sure that phone call won't be the last time I feel overwhelmed, stressed, or worried about my kids - one truth remains certain: Aiden and Isabella are going to develop at their own pace regardless of how much we want them to conform to our timelines. And we are just going to have to learn to be patient in the meantime.

All the photos taken in this post were taken this past weekend!


Ashley said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Love reading about your twins, they are so adorable. And in time they will do the things that you want to see them do, every child develops on their own schedule.

mom2tsgck said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Hardest lesson ever. I've been there. I'm still there. I rejoiced when my youngest was finally walked at 15 mos when others walk at 9 mos. I rejoiced at 6 yrs old when he was finally potty trained when others were potty training at 2. You learn to appreciate the LITTLE things, because they really are the BIG things. We take a lot for granted and we feel pressured by society when we don't 'size up' to the "norm" ... You both are amazing parents and all of your children will thrive!

Kristy said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Yay for first words and first steps. Keep being the mommy that you are being and they will be just fine.

Tesha said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Don't worry my friend we all have those days....am I doing a good job? YOU ARE! I have two kids that developed really slow and were behind and are now fine. My seven year old is struggling to read and it is really hard not to worry. All we can do is the very best we can for them and love them. I think your twins will surprise you and everyone and one day decided they want to catch up :)

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