Monday, September 17, 2012

Happy Birthday my Dear, Sweet Boy

I've written this and rewritten it a million times. How do I say everything I want to say?

Dear Cole,

Two years ago, today, at exactly 5:43am I delivered my beautiful sweet second son - my precious baby boy - you, Cole. We held you in our arms and kissed your sweet head. We prayed over you and cried over you. Your Nana and Aunt Katie came to the hospital to see you and love on you and all our other friends and family sent warm wishes, texts, and prayers. We dressed you in a beautiful gown that some sweet person made especially for tiny babies like you. We took pictures with you and then had pictures done of you - for us to keep and cherish forever. We counted your perfect ten fingers and kissed your sweet, perfect ten toes. We held you and rocked you and sang to you. We even fell asleep with you in our arms. It seems like it was just yesterday.


Cole, I miss you every day, with every waking breath I take. I know that you are up in Heaven playing with all your friends and our family, but it doesn't make me miss you any less. You may have only been 9 ounces; we may have only held you for a few hours, but you made a huge impression on our hearts. To say you changed who I am, is probably one of the biggest understatements of my life. You made me the mom I am. 
 Because of you, I cherish every moment with your siblings. Because of you, I try not to complain when Connor, Aiden, and Isabella are throwing temper tantrums. Because of you, when people tell me I have my hands full, I smile from the deepest place in my heart and tell them that I am Blessed. Because of you, I am kinder. I am stronger. I am more empathetic. Because of you, I have met wonderful Mamas who have a hole in their heart. Because of you, I have planned a memorial service, written an obituary, picked out an urn, and known true pain and loss. And most importantly, because of you, I am a better Mama.
Some day, when I get to hold you in Heaven and laugh and giggle with you, I will feel complete. But until then, I will hold your siblings tighter. I will laugh more. And I promise I will make you as proud of me as I can. I love you my beautiful, sweet boy.
 
Happy Birthday, handsome!
Your Mama

9 comments:

Megan said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thinking about you all and remembering sweet Cole today. Happy birthday precious boy!

Kristy said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Happy Birthday Cole!
Thinking of and praying for y'all today. I love how our boys brought us together.

Courtney said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Happy Birthday baby boy. xoxoxoxo

My name is Heather. said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

happy birthday to your 2nd born son. hope your day will be filled with peace, favor, and love.

LittleDreamer said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Happy birthday, Cole!!! You are always in our hearts.

erin - mutterings of eringirl said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thinking of you today and celebrating your sweet son. Through you, Cole has touched my life and I am immensely grateful for the lessons I have learned.

AbbyS. said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

happy birthday to your sweet cole. Thinking of you today. thanks for the reminder to hug a little tighter and be a little more paitent.

Tesha said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Beautiful touching letter to your seconded son that you honor so well! Happy Birthday sweet boy. I can just imagine the celebration you are having in heaven.

The Robbins family said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thinking of your sweet angel Cole and the entire Howard family! We feel so grateful to have your family in our lives and continue to learn so much from you!!!

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