Saturday, October 20, 2012

Best Mom EVER

I was the BEST mom before I had kids.

Have you heard that saying before? Let me tell you. I was SERIOUSLY the best mom you've ever met before Connor came along. My kids were NEVER going to eat fast food. Ever. Because fast food is for lazy moms. They were never going to act up in restaurants, because obviously, kids who act up haven't had enough structure. I was going to have dinners at home sitting around the dining room table six nights a week, because good moms sit down with their kids every single night and have meaningful life-changing discussions with their three-year-olds. I was going to have kids who slept through the night because, you know, GOOD moms keep a very consistent routine and eventually kids will just realize that waking up in the middle of the night is not going to fly. My kids would NEVER scream or shout at me and IF THEY DID they were going to go in time out the second it happened. I was going to be the most consistent discipliner ever, because as any AMAZING parent knows, consistency is the key to any sort of discipline.  I was never ever going to bribe my children with chocolate or cookies because they were going to listen to me every single time I asked them to do something. And if they didn't listen, I was going to calmly explain to them why they needed to do what I asked. Bribery, any good mom knows, is ONLY for those OTHER Moms who don't have their children in control. 

Ha. It's just too bad I actually had kids and wrecked my perfect parenting record, because surely parenting magazines were going to feature me with the headline: MOTHER OF THE YEAR. 

Slowly, over the past three years, four kids later, I've realized almost every "I will never ever" statement I uttered before having kids has gone straight out the window. Considering last week I had committed more Good Mom Crimes than I care to admit (I they have a place where us Good Mom Offenders go?!?), I decided one night after a particularly trying day at work to throw in the towel, and wave my white surrender flag. I packed up the kids and headed over to the place where lazy parents who don't want to cook their children healthy, nutritious meals gather together. It felt strangely liberating that I wasn't the only mom there - we formed a sort of tribe of lazy parents who've learned not to judge others. I wonder, if they too were Mothers of the Year before they had children? Had they uttered those "When I have kids..." holier than thou statements too? 

So, officially, this week I'm passing along my "I'm the best Mom in the whole world" tiara on to some other wonderful well-intentioned women out there uttering those "When I have kids..." statements loud and clear. Maybe some day when all my kids are geniuses in Harvard solving some huge "World Hunger" problems, I'll ask for my tiara back. In the meantime, you'll find me occasionally at McDonald's feeding my kids poison (see picture proof below).  

Don't they look so big sitting in high chairs at the table with us?!? I remember not too long ago when we'd put them in their infant carriers at our tables. It's going too quickly, I swear.
 Aiden wanted to be like the big kids. See him standing there looking at the big kids?
 Isabella got pretty brave in the little kid area. She wanted to turn all the knobs. Goodness, I wish girlfriend would just walk already. She is so stinkin' close.
This adorable little boy on the left played with Aiden and Izzy for about 10 minutes. He kept calling them, "Baby" and touching their heads and talking to them in the sweetest, softest voices. I was amazed that he didn't want to run around and go on the slides; he was having such a fun time entertaining the babies. 
Please, someone, anyone tell me I will be forgiven for my mom crimes. It'll make me feel better. 


The Schult Family said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

LOVE this one! Does it help to know that people see you as "The Greatest Mom"? :) ...D

Crystal said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I think every mom can relate to this. :) I was already doing things (like eating junk food) I swore I never would while pregnant and I'm sure the "good mom crimes" I'll commit will only continue. ;) Don't beat yourself up, you're an amazing mom!!

Tesha said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Ha this is a great post!!!! I turned in my mother of the year award years ago before I was stripped of it:)...Your forgiven;) But by the way I still think you are a pretty amazing mom!

LittleDreamer said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I have a gut feeling this will be me in a few years. You may remind me of this blog entry at that time. :-)

Katie Taylor said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Hahaha I looooved this post! I have swallowed so many of my "I'll never" promises and I'm only a nanny, I can't imagine how many more of those words I will have to eat when I have kids of my own. We are all entitled to cut corners every once in awhile. You cook the kids a delicious home cooked meal just about everyday, work a full time job, do all the laundry, clean up after them, give them a bath and put them to bed every night, and you and Luke have no help with all of that so take a short cut every once in awhile my goodness! =) You are an amazing mom!! Those are some lucky kiddos! Love you!

Ashley said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Your ideas of being a mom and what a mom is definitely changes when you actually have a child AND as you have more children. I do believe that I am a better mom now than I was when I had ideas about being a "good mom" and when I only had 1 or 2 kids...most important lesson for me was learning to relax and not to react to things that really don't matter.

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