Thursday, October 11, 2012

Mothers of Multiples Picnic

On September 23rd we had our Mothers of Multiples annual picnic. I went early to help set up.
On most things, moms can relate to me about mom stuff. But there are times, when only another mom of multiples gets it. If you're friends with me on facebook or instagram (@thehowardbunch), you saw my post about how someone said to me, "I basically have twins. My girls are 18 months apart." I actually have heard this quite a bit. Maybe they don't say, "I basically have twins;" instead I hear, "I know how you feel with twins..." or "I know what it's like." I'm sure there are other difficulties with having kids 18 months apart and I am certainly not saying that universally having twins is harder, but regardless, it is not the same thing. It just isn't.
Another thing I hear quite often after answering that they are boy girl twins, is "Are they identical?" No. By definition, identical twins are identical...meaning they'd both have to have penises, something which, I can assure you, Isabella does not have.
Hmm. What else do I hear? "You have twins?!? Oh goodness I could never do that!" That one always gets me. What would you do? Give one away? What do you mean you couldn't do it? We didn't get a choice. God didn't come down and say, "Hey, Mrs. Howard, umm yeah. So I'm thinking of giving you twins. What do you think?" Once, at the doctor a grumpy man said, "Ugh. I couldn't do it!" I said, "Well then good thing God gave them to me!" I know people aren't trying to be rude when they say things like that. Honestly, I think it's just a way to connect, but it's silly to say you couldn't do it. Yes you could.
I know multiples aren't the only thing that spark silly comments. I'm sure families with large number of kids - spark all sorts of comments...or families with all boys...or older couples who chose not to have kids...or families with kids who are close in age. Goodness knows what being pregnant sparks random adults to ask and say (I once had a man who worked at Barnes and Noble ask me if I was planning on a vaginal birth. Ummm why on earth do you care?!?). It's so funny what strangers think is okay to say to you.


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