Connor has turned into a different little boy in the past few weeks. My funny, smart, inquisitive, soft, tender child has turned into a little rascal. It isn't any more his fault than a teenager who suddenly becomes sullen, antagonistic, and ornery. I get it. It's a part of growing up. It's a stage. And some day I'll look back and miss this stage (right? Isn't that what every mom with an older child tells you when you say, "Ahhhhhhhhh I'm pulling out my hair!!"). But right now, in this moment, I can't think about how I'm going to miss my handsome tiny little three-year-old. All I can think about is how I'm going to survive the next week (let's be honest, I'm really mapping out the next hour, the next five minutes, and sometimes even the next few seconds!). And that's just Connor. Aiden and Isabella have been equally challenging and have upped their temper tantrum quotient ten-fold. It's been a struggle, to say the least. Add in there that all three kids have colds, runny noses, coughs, sore throats, etc. and you have a recipe for a Mommy Insane Asylum. Seriously.
|Yes I'm mean. I took a picture of her having a tantrum. What else was I supposed to do?|
All this difficulty has got me thinking about what kind of mom I am. Is the mom I am consistent with the mom I want to be? It always sounds great in theory to be the mom who never loses her patience, the mom who never yells, the mom who has got it all together. Let me tell you...as much as I'd like to be, I'm not that mom. Which got me thinking all Carrie-esque (remember how she always starts each Sex and the City episode with a question?)...
And the answer to that is: Probably. I'm pretty sure Connor is learning a whole lot more when he sees me lose my patience and then apologize to him. He learns that we all have bad days, but we just need to accept the things we've done, ask for forgiveness, and start fresh. When he sees me cry, he learns sympathy and empathy for others who are struggling. When he sees me try to juggle things and not get everything done, but continue to try to do everything I can for my family - he learns that it's okay to try really hard, stumble, and continue to work at our imperfections. He learns that not everything comes easy to us and sometimes the things that are more valuable are much harder to accomplish.
Somewhere I heard that multiple children (twins, triplets, etc.) learn much earlier than singletons important lessons about patience, realistic expectations, self sufficiency, and a quasi selflessness (I say quasi, because I don't think there is a child out there that isn't somewhat selfish) because, from the time they were born, they had no choice but to wait. Wait for bottles. Wait for diaper changes. Wait for answers. Wait to be held. I'm certain this rumor I've heard was started by other multiple moms to make us all feel better about the fact that our attention is divided between two babies. But it does make sense, right?