Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My heart is broken

alternate textToday is the third birthday of our sweet, sweet Cole. I am barely holding it together. I keep thinking every year that it will get easier - easier to talk about, easier to celebrate, easier to remember - but I haven't reached that stage yet. Maybe I won't ever get there. 

I know it is selfish, but I just want to hold him in my arms one more time - study his sweet features, kiss him some more, sing to him. I just want more time with him. 

I don't have a lot of words today, except to say that I am heartbroken. I miss my beautiful, handsome boy and my heart aches for the memories we would have been creating today - happy birthday songs sung as a family, gifts opened with excitement, lots and lots of laughter, maybe even some dancing before breakfast, and definitely - definitely lots of hugs, kisses, and a million "I love you's."


I keep praying for healing, amidst my sadness. But the reality is that my heart is just still so broken.

Cole, my little boy - my middle son - my sweet angel,

I miss you, sweetheart. I can't wait for the day that I get to hold you in my arms for eternity.

Your Mama

8 comments:

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

praying today is filled with His mercies and joy falling over you. heaven can't come soon enough!

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I think we will always miss our baby boys here on earth. It is just not right to not have them here with us. Praying that you feel comforted, loved and supported today by your family and friends. I love the picture of you kissing him, so many emotions stir in my heart when I see it. Praying for you!

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I've been thinking about you all day. Love you!

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

My heart continues to go out to you and Luke and I am continually amazed by your amazing strength! I love you!!!

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You are so sweet Sara! YOU are my hero!

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thank you, Kira!! Thank you for your sweet card. It meant so much to me!!

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thank you so much, Tesha!! I could feel all the prayers!!

Mrs. Howard said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Heather, thank you!! I know we both can't wait to hold our precious babies!!

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